Why?

        I just started to read The Sorcerer's Apprentice, A season in the kitchen at Ferran Adria's Elbulli, by Lisa Abend. I have only gotten as far as the into when I had to stop and ask myself why? Why do I want to go to culinary school? Why do I love to bake? Why do I think I can do it? etc. And you know what. I don't know. After I read the info I put the book down and decided to actually really and truly think about why I want to do this for the rest of my life. And I couldn't think of an answer deeper than its something I like doing, which really isnt an answer its more of a opinion for lack of a better word there are some people who like to paint, some who like to drive, I just happen to like cooking. But again why?

        I decided to clean my kitchen (at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday night party over here) in the hopes that it may give me an epiphany, or at least a inkling of why I enjoy being in the kitchen. No such luck, so I sat down and just started to type out my thoughts again waiting for any kind of spark, I figure why not think of all the times you can remember cooking and go as far back as you can.

        So the farthest back I can remember is watching my Grandpa make his breakfast potatoes. He would ever so slowly peel a potato, cut it in half and than with a small pairing knife he would cut slices so thin you could practically see through them he would end up making a big pile of them just from a single potato, and than he would pan fry them til they were golden, slightly crisp, and yet a little soft inside. They were thee best potatoes. I don't know how old I was exactly but i would guess about 6-8. Years and years later when in high school I did make the potatoes again they were good not as good as Grandpas because I admit as a teenager I was in a rush and didn't take the time I used the slice part on a box grater to get the thin slices my Grandpa did by hand but still they didn't taste as good. Those potatoes are a memory of my Grandpa that I will always have that not to many other family members can understand.

        Now don't get me wrong my mom cooks she can whip up a meal like no bodies business from scraps here and there, but shes not a big baker, sure I remember making chocolate chip cookies with her and having to beat the heck out of the butter and sugar by hand with a wooden spoon (electric mixers what where those), I don't remember making them anymore than that after we moved when I was like 8 or 9. I do remember being encouraged to try new foods, but I was also told "you order it, you eat it" so that didn't really make me want to order something different because what if I didn't like it.

         So I think I like to cook and bake is because its something I know I can do. I'm not a cook like my mom who can make something delish from 20 random baggies from her freezer (tho I am trying ever so slowly) but I am no slouch either. I have made the authentic mole with the 20+ ingredients, I have smoked chicken, baked cakes from scratch, but I know there is so much more out there. I don't know if its because I'm getting older or just realizing I still have to work at least another 30 years, but I figured its time I grow up and get a career and if I get one of those it might as well be doing something I know I'm good at and can possibly excel in as well as enjoy it.

         I do miss being in the kitchen, and I'm super excited about school, being around like minded people, learning about something the actually interests me, is just great which doesn't really convey how I feel I mean c'mon i was teary eyed after I had registered. But my son is at an age where he can take care of himself to some extent (13) we are at a place where we can manage with 1 paycheck and i can still make money on the occasionally cake, cupcake, cookie order.

        So after all this maybe I like to cook because its what I was meant to do. I have a talent for it, some have the talent to draw, act, etc. For me its what I'm good at which in turn makes me feel good which make me like doing it. I'm 'mart. 

        I think I can now go on reading the book now that I got that small one worded question answered. Why?

-EGG